We are fire

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Eager to grow, expand and conquer. Frantically racing to burn it all down. Resting only when there is nothing left to consume. We’ll leave behind nothing but ash.

Let Go of the Story

Don’t think that You’ll be somebody else later. You won’t. You’ll just be You without the story. That’s all. So let go of the story over and over and don’t be lusting after experiences. I know you want all kinds of experiences because you think that will change things. It won’t. It will make it worse. Because when you get like that, you’d knock somebody over to get over there and get that experience.

sing it, songbird.

sing it, songbird.

The Plague of Envy

For the longest time I thought my deepest fear was that I was inadequate, unloveable. But while on this quest to shine light on fear (operation the monster under the bed is just a pile of socks) I’ve noticed how fears tend to hide their origins. How having glimpsed a terrifying monster, one is safer forgetting its name. The surface-level understanding of the fear obscures it’s own resolution by hiding its origin in places I’d never think to look: in its own contradiction.

And so it is that this fear of inadequacy hides a deeper fear: that I am actually brilliant, talented, fabulous, and insanely special. Immediately this thought is met with inward disbelief and ridicule. Something is guarding this path. And so I continue. I start to see how this fear of inadequacy is a disease that infects each new generation. I see how it spreads in a culture through repeated contact. One who is infected responds with fear and aggression to a healthy individual that she feels might be brighter, more talented, more beautiful than herself. And — seeking love — the one who is met with such fear and aggression attempts to shine less brightly so that he will not be pushed away. After years of pretending to be small he forgets how all this began and starts to believe that he actually *is* small. And believing this watered-down version of himself to be real, he feels inadequate around those who shine too brightly; spreading this complex further by reacting with fear and aggression.

Priestess

So many people.
Each is unique, true.
But a composition of archetypes.
These are still many, but far fewer.

And which are you my dear?
You are the priestess and the matriarch.
Keeper of hearth and altar.
Perfect wife, mother, and vessel of spirit.

I’d be honored to complement you
in some legendary tale told by us 
and recited by our children.
But the best tales take us by surprise.

So it is with life and love:
(I know you know this well)
All the beauty that’s meant for us
can neither be sought nor avoided.

Carbide Isis

I can’t see the future
but I can sense it.
Like Isis, I feel you then
as powerful, loving, generous, fierce.

I see these embers in you now.
Hurricanes and tornados
will fan the flames harshly
and you’ll burn bright.

Like carbide, I feel you now
as strong but delicate.
So capable. So beautiful.
Such potential and grace.

But you aren’t meant for me.
For now your gravity pulls me in
but I’m more comet than satellite:
my path leading past you.

Like two daring acrobats
we lift each other up to 
build the trust and courage 
to let each other go.

(dis)connected

(dis)connected

Smitten

I have no justification 
for how I feel about you
of course, in reality
these feelings are groundless 
like everything else 
but still, it’s unsettling

I feel an impulse to tie it all together 
to write a story that makes sense
one that feels descriptive
it’s probably more embellishment than excavation
but by connecting these dots here to those dots there
I’ll form a constellation 
and I’ll examine it for hours
and I’ll come up with a hypothesis
and I’ll test it for days

Scientists have this concept
they call it the uncertainty principle
it says that once you look too closely at something
you’ve changed it
I feel that way about you
from where I’m standing, I wouldn’t change a thing
and so I won’t look too closely
because you’re just so perfectly
… 
delightful

Touch But Don’t Grasp

Those things you want?
Please don’t take them.
Just invite them out to play
as often as you like.

Those things you need?
Please don’t ask for them. 
Just let your needs be known
and notice who responds to you.